Tuesday, May 20, 2014

running my mind.

So I just got back from a typical Tuesday afternoon run.

Except it wasn't completely typical.
Started a little later.
Ran with different people.
I overslept and didn't go to Pilates this morning.
And ate a donut.
And another half of one.
And I didn't go to spin yesterday morning either.
I'd camped out with the seniors the night before.
(Worth it.)
And had eaten a lot of brownies.
And I haven't had enough water today.
And it was really hot outside.
Like, really hot.
And I should have worn different socks.

That's why I couldn't do it.
I couldn't run the entire 3.8 mile route.
I had to walk.
Let the others go ahead.
And walk.
Slowly.
If I had eaten better today.
Or if it was cooler.
Or if my usual running buddies were with me.
Then I could do it.
But today?
I can't.

Or at least that was what my mind was telling me.

Over and over again that second half of the run.

Slow down.
Walk.
It's okay.
You just can't do it today…

Turning the corner, making my way back to the church building, I recognized what was going on.
My mind was trying to run me.
But I am the one who gets to choose how to run my mind.

It does that sometimes.
Tries to talk me out of trying.
Tries to convince me I don't have what it takes.
Gives me reason after reason to give up.

But I know the truth.
Ultimately, I get to choose.

So I made a choice.

One step at a time.
Steady pace.
I wouldn't let myself get discouraged and stop.
One step at a time.
I'd finish the "race" set before me today.

And I wasn't going to just turn my mind off, numbing myself to thought in an effort to push through.
That approach doesn't help me in the long run.

This was my choice.
Each step would be my decision.
Me taking the reigns of my mind back.

And once I redirected my thoughts in the way I wanted them to go, the rest of me followed.

That's the powerful thing about having the freedom to choose…
I can allow a lot of things to influence how I feel or what I do.
Or I can be the one running my mind.

And if I choose to dwell with the LORD as I journey and choose…
Wow…
Nothing will be able to stop us...



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